Retirement for Dummies

We have just completed our first week of Frosty’s retirement. All our friends have been asking him the last couple of years when he was going to retire. His answer was always the same, “I don’t know if I will ever retire” Every time we are leaving Walmart and the little old man at the door tells us “have a good day”, my sweet hubby always says, “I could do that if I ever retire”.

This past week found us the first few days trying to decide if he really wanted to look for a new adventure or truly just retire. I told him that I knew what I wanted him to do. Guess I should have not spoken that idea out loud. Actually, at the first of the week, we were both saying, “this might be great” we can go anywhere, do anything and stay up as late as we wanted, not having to get up at the crack of dawn. That was Monday. By Tuesday, we realized that even when we didn’t have to get up early or go to bed at 10, we were so used to going to bed at 10 and getting up at 6:30 a.m,.that our bodies apparently hadn’t realized that we were now in our “retirement” season. We were still falling asleep on the couch by 9:30 and waking up each morning at 6:30.

As we relaxed that first night, pondering our new season of life, we had grand plans. We would cook together, go to grocery shop together and he agreed to watch Ellen with me at 4 in the afternoons. OK, I was getting excited about having a friend by my side all during the day. We could go get pedicures together, walk around the mall, lazily in the afternoons, all the while sipping a Starbucks. We would have time to do all the things we always said we never had the time. I had this all planned. Mondays he could fold clothes while I vacuumed the house. I would now have someone to help me change the sheets. How fun, is this going to be great or what?

Tuesday arrives. It was” what”. We made it a whole day before we began to set up some rules. But…I’m sure that we just have to get used to this. This was our week, at a glance:

Monday….excited about new adventure and made all our plans of what we would do together.  So fun.

Tuesday…we are still speaking, but the tone isn’t as sweet as it was yesterday; trying to remember why this was fun yesterday.

Wednesday…I’m watching Ellen by myself. He is in den watching a recorded football game from last week.

Thursday….we have yellow tape down the middle of the kitchen. He is not allowed on my half, except when he is doing his half of the dishes. Barely speaking.

Friday…just shoot me!

Maybe next week we will sign up for a class on How To Do Retirement. Our lists we made last week, of fun things to do,  were thrown out the car window today when I suggested that maybe tomorrow he might want to go to Walmart to see if they had an opening as a door greeter.

If we survive next week, I will update you on our progress or ask if anyone knows a good lawyer.

2 thoughts on “Retirement for Dummies

  1. This is hilarious especially having just been there! i must say that my honey do list had never looked better and was never crossed off faster as Bob really wanted things to do! I have a newly painted kitchen, new glass pantry door in place of the pocket door that never closed, and 2 new storage houses in the back yard, and on it goes! Blessings and keep that glorious sense of humor! lol! Love to you!


  2. Reblogged this on Chocolate Castles and commented:

    2 yrs down the road we have worked out a system! We knew that whatever housexwe bought had to have a den and a living room for each of us to have a little “away” time! He plays bocce ball while I bake! He rides around in the golf cart while I write, when I paint he plays Eucher at the clubhouse! Anytime he leaves in the car. I just yell out,” love ya honey be home by midnight”! Yes, we have learned how to live “together” in this season of retirement….by staying apart as much as possible! Do not judge me!


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