September 27th was the day I went in for knee replacement! Because I’m pretty healthy (despite the amount of butter that flows in my veins), and pretty positive and energetic, I expected to come home the next day, preparing chocolate chip cookies within the week! It is such a natural thing to think that because we have planned, prepared and read everything given to us to read so we thought we what to expect, this would just be one of the bumps in the road for a week or so!

Without making you read the details, this is not what happened. Infection set in the new knee and I was told to sit and only get up as necessary! Going in every day for IV infusions, (I’ve had 10 with 5-6 more to go) and finding myself afraid of what might happen if the infection wasn’t stopped, each day found me a little more fearful than the day before! Yes, I am a Christian and I trust God who is my strength and hope! But as easy as it is to say that sitting in church in the east and good days with beautiful music playing and friends and family sitting around you, it’s a little harder to say “I Choose God”, when you are lying alone in bed at 2:00 am wondering what is happening and when is God going to answer my prayer of healing and will He answer my prayer of healing? It always amaze when people call or text and say “you have been on my mind and I felt led to call or text you!” It is just like the Lord to put us on others hearts when. We need to hear from someone and that happened several times during the last 3 weeks! Yes God is always near and He is always using us to minister to others if we allow Him to do so! On one of the hardest nights after coming home from ER the night before, I found myself feeling so alone. I cried out to the Lord to meet me at my point of need

And as He always does, He showed up! A dear friend had just lost her daughter and had this on her post, the following words!

Lisa Terkeurst wrote::

I trust God. Until I don’t. That doesn’t feel like a very Christian thing to say. But if I don’t acknowledge this struggle, I can’t address it.

I don’t think I’m the only one.

So many of us raise our hands high as we proclaim that our God is a “good, good Father,” but then we find ourselves lying in our beds at night with tear-stained pillows, facing realities that don’t feel very good at all.

It’s hard not to feel suspicious of God when our circumstances don’t seem to line up with His promises. And it’s difficult not to doubt the light of His truth when everything around us looks dark.

But we must know there’s purpose in every season — even seasons of darkness. And we must choose… Will we see dark times as a womb or a tomb? Is it a birth of something new or the death of what we thought should be? Will we fix our eyes on God’s goodness or give in to hopelessness and despair?

Oh, friends. I know the dark places are scary. But let’s ask God to bring good out of these difficult places we so desperately want to be done with. And instead of being suspicious of Him, let’s lift up our praises to Him.

Praise may not shift our circumstances, but it will definitely begin to change our hearts. We don’t always get to choose our situations, but we can choose how we live through them.”

As so many are going thru so many much more severe challenges, when things are going on with us personally, it is still hard to accept.

The purpose of this post is to sing the praises of the Church! People stay away from church saying they don’t want to go worship with hypocrites or they just don’t have time or they worship in their own way! Jesus knew exactly what He was Doing when He ordained the Church. This past 3 weeks have shown both Randy and I more love and kindness we have ever seen! Even friends from our last church in CA have reached out to us! The cards of encouragement, text, phone calls, gift cards for restaurants, dinners delivered to our door, visits and flowers and more food from family and friends have brought us to tears! Ladies have come to take me to get infusions every day for two weeks! That is the church!!!

David Jeremiah once said in one of his Sermons, that he prayed that he would not come out on the other side of his cancer unchanged. And that is my prayer. That the Lord will give me the opportunity, the strength and the desire to serve others as well as they have served us! Lord help us to look around us and see where we are needed! You created us for Your glory and purpose! Help me to live and serve in such a way that others may see You, and glorify You!

I choose God!!!