Around The Bend
https://chocolatecastles.com/2016/04/07/around-the-bend/
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Bonnie & Clyde, Guido & Gina, running away from so many different things. So much difference between the two couples. Bonnie & Clyde were running from the law. Guido & Gina are running from everything that is familiar, family and friends. Even though we are leaving for Italy in the month of April, we are not trying to escape tax season. We are just trying to run to someplace which will grow us as seniors. We won’t have Walgreens on every corner. There will be no Walmart to run for heartburn meds or Geritol.
We won’t have familiar faces driving down the street, stopping to engage in conversations about government or the latest neighborhood gossip. Yes, it will truly be a whole new experience for us both. It is different when you travel overseas with tour groups. Safety in numbers, right? Well, there is just the two of us, with the exception of a couple of weeks when we will be blessed with some of our kids and friends coming over to stay with us. This trip has been a dream for us for a long time. Why is it that these bucket lists possibilities are never a possibility until we are old. I am sitting here thinking about what we are going to be doing and what it would have been like going when I was 25 or 30. No fear, no thoughts of “oh my gosh, what if one of us falls and breaks a hip while trying to take a selfie at the Trevi Fountain?” What if we get heart burn so badly that we can’t tell if it is just heart burn or a heart attack? Can we really carry our 50 lb suitcase up 4 flights of stairs? What if we loose our passports? Will we get on the wrong train? What if we get lost and can’t explain to our Italian friends where we are trying to go?
Thoughts like this never enter young peoples minds. They just go and enjoy the ride.
After my doctor told me last week that unless I gave up certain foods that I would certainly find myself having a heart attack or stroke, I thanked him for giving me something else to worry about. Now, instead of walking the streets of Florence with a gelato in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other, I will now be afraid to eat anything other than a piece of dry crusty bread or a sliced tomato. Gelato? Forget it, the closest thing I will get now to that is a frozen slice of banana. Young folks, listen to me….steal, beg or borrow and go travel before you spend your nights preceding the trips, practicing getting out of small cars without looking like you will be bent over for ever. Guido and I are already practicing each evening how to say in Italian, “where is the closest emergency room?” We have sewed pockets in our shirts for extra Tums and ID cards in case one of us looses our memory while we are gone and get separated in the crowds.
Just this morning, when I was tempted to stop at Chick Fila to buy a new Key Lime pie flavored shake, Guido looked over at me and says, and I quote, “No, remember what the Dr said and I can tell you right now, if you have a stroke, I will put your make up on you so heavily that you will look like Tammy Fae Baker. I will not keep your face shaved, or your hair done like you like. Also,you will be laying there with a unibrow. So let that be an incentive for you to enjoy those bags of lettuce we just bought at Trader Joes.” Bless his heart, God love him….he is so caring.
Yes, in a couple of weeks, we will be seniors on the run, praying that we will return 3 months later with memories which will prove that oldies can go, grow and explore new places even loaded down with heavy suitcases, purses filled with meds and snacks that would make my doctor proud.
Trust me, I’m not leaving Italy before having coconut gelato, pizza or limoncello….even if I end up with Tammy Fae makeup being applied to my face!
This morning as I was getting all dolled up for the day, (which incidentally takes a little longer each year) several things dawned on me. For years, I use to criticize all the “old” ladies who painted their eyebrows on. Why, for Pete’s sake did they do that? Why not just enhance the brows they had? This morning, as I was examining myself in the 7x magnifying mirror to see if any new wrinkles had landed on my face during the night, I seemed to have found the answer to my question. There, staring back at me was my eyebrow, with oodles of gray little hairs sticking out from above my head. So as I “enhanced” my brown with my auburn eyebrow pencil, the gray hairs that truly must have been 2″ long were so noticeable sticking out of the “enhanced” auburn brows. I sat there and just stared at my face. Not only were there new wrinkles that I know were not there yesterday, but now I had gray eyelashes and gray eyebrows. In the past, the gray eyelashes were easy to disguise. Brown mascara always did the trick and wa-la, I would look in the mirror and think to myself, “no one will ever know I’m past 60 now. But what was I going to do with these awful gray eyebrows. If I pulled them out, there would be so few eyebrows left, guess who would now look like one of the old ladies with just painted eyebrows? That was not going to happen. So I just painted a thicker layer of the eyebrows pencil, hoping that whatever was in the pencil would help hold the gray ones down.
How can I call myself a snazzy senior when I now have this to worry about? No amount of cute little capris or blingie sandals would help. Maybe if I apply a heavier line to the eyeliner it will draw peoples attention away from my brows. Nope, tried that just now and I look like a cat burglar. Or Lady GaGa wanna be.
Feeling a little down about this season of unsnazzines (is that a word), I sprayed on a little more perfume than normal, put on the biggest hoops earrings I owned and walked out with the Lady GaGa eyeliner with my capris and diamond studding (not real of course) flip flops. Randy looked at me and ask me if we were going to a costume party? or was I taking up a new profession? He then informed me that if it were the latter, I might make more money if I charged by the pound. Apparently he doesn’t remember that he will be in the car with me for 20 hours in a few days. I told him that those 20 hours are going to be the longest 20 hours he has had in quite a while.
So today I’m off to shop. Shopping and chocolate…always a pick me up for us
“no so snazzy seniors” Will be shopping for larger sunglasses to cover up the new wrinkles and the gray brows. Think I will eat dried apricots, boiled eggs, pinto beans and a cabbage salad the night before our car trip. That will make Mr. No More Mike Ditka Look Alike sorry he spoke to me like that. Ah….the joys of growing old!
We have been living here now for 2 months and have had much to learn and think about. This is not Texas, nor is it California. Arizona has a personality all it’s own. Somedays, when we get CBS alerts every hour, declaring that someone has been shot or stabbed, we feel that we are living in the Wild Wild West.
Other days, when we are out, and people constantly strike up a conversation with us just waiting in line or sitting waiting for our car’s to be cleaned, we feel that we live in the South, the home of hospitality. Then there are times, when our neighbors come over and just walk in and hug us and are excited that a Christian has moved in next door, we feel that we are living in the Bible Belt.
Yes, we have found that folks out here ask us if we are Christians. It is certainly a place which has such a diversity of people, all of which combine to make this a place that has already warmed our hearts (except for the shootings, which so far, has kept to a different part of Phoenix)
This past Tuesday, we attended the Bible Study here at the clubhouse where we live and then went to a potluck dinner, which is held the first Tues of the month here at Las Palmas Grand. I felt like I was in the fellowship hall at First Bapt church again. It has been so many years since I have been to a potluck dinner. After a opening prayer blessing, we all got up to feast on all the food that had been brought. There was meatloaf, Jello Salads, Pasta salads, ribs, roast, you name it, we had it. I took Randy’s request, my cream cheese pound cake with strawberry sauce. We met new people and even signed up to bowl on Thurs evenings and I signed up for art class. Randy’s arm is still keeping him from doing to much, so he said he would go and watch me make a fool of myself…I mean bowl! We also discovered that in order for us to fit in with this Pot Luck group, we should have brought our own divided trays, you know the kind; like the kind that we use to use in school. They are plastic and have a place for your utensils, a place for your cup and then a couple of places for different foods. Not me, missy, we brought the biggest plates we had in order to fit more food. We are Southern Baptist and grew up on Pot luck dinners, we know that some little divided tray that fits maybe two different kinds of food was not going to cut it with his couple. Our plates allowed us to get more foods at one time, thus avoiding so many trips back to the tables, which in all honesty, is always so embarrassing as I think people must think, “how much food can that girl eat, hasn’t she been up there 3 or 4 times already. Our plates only require a couple of trips. Personally the others should learn from us and bring undivided large plates. Less trips; more food! One of the first things you learn at church dinners.
We sat at a table that had two of the sweetest couples. This is the part of the story that I’m not sure I should share, but it just is such a part of what we are having to get use to. One of the couples who sat with us was a little older than we are. How do I know this, well…a couple of reasons. For starters, when we began to talk and share that we were new, they began to tell us about the Mesa Senior Citizen Center. I glanced at Randy and he just smiled at me, like “don’t be rude, you will be there in a few years.” But it was when they invited us to go to lunch with them that I just felt like I was 80 years old. They raved about how good the lunches were at this Senior Center and they went every day and ate for $3.50 which included their milk, coffee & water. Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with going to the Senior Center, but for lunch ever day? Do they not know that there is a Sonic down the street where you can get a hamburger with fries and a cherry coke for almost the same price? It was at this point that I told Randy, that until we were to old to drive or our stomachs couldn’t take grease anymore, he had to promise me that we would not do that. Even if the food there is the greatest since sliced bread, we would still drive through In & Out, Whataburger or Sonic. I’m just not ready to hit the Senior Centers quite yet.
Hopefully for a few years, do not go looking for us at any Senior Center, unless of course they are serving Tex-Mex or Hamburgers & Fries!
Seniors We Might Be, But Sonic is the Perfect Place for ME!
Randy and I began with great plans of being such proud little “going green” seniors as we headed out the back door to go grocery shopping. We had laid one of our recyclable bags out so we would not forget to get them off the hook in the garage, which is what happens each week. We always get out of the car at the store and say, “oh shoot, we forgot the reusable bags, oh well, we will be sure to get them next time.” Every week, it’s the same story. But not this week, we purposely laid one on the hood so we would be sure and grab the bags before heading out. And grab we did, we took the bags that make us look like Mr & Mrs Environment Friendly Green All The Way…you know the ones, that have sayings on them such as “Use Me to Help Give Your Kids a Cleaner Tomorrow”. So off we go and as the checker is checking us out, we visit and tell him that we don’t mind him filling the bags up, after all, we are strong and can handle more than 2 cans in a bag.
So we check out, head to the car, I take our basket and put it in the basket return and on my way back to the car, I even offer to take a ladies’ basket for her so I’m sure to get my steps in on my Fitbit. She thanks me and I am feeling ever so nice. We back out and as I am looking in the back seat to help Randy back up (you know, he needs me to help him look) there in the backseat of our car are out reusable bags. Neither one of us had even thought about the bags when we arrived. We never even thought about them as the checker was filling up plastic bags with our groceries. What are we going to have to do to remember that even when we remember to take them, we remember to take them out of the car?
Are we the only people that do this? Feeling pretty “old & forgetful” about ourselves, on the way home, we began to talk of some of the things that we do now that are tell-signs that we are getting just a tad bit of a “Senior”. Here are just a few, see if any of you share some of these same characteristics.
This is probably one of the saddest days of my life. After going to the Texas State Fair yesterday, which happened to be “Seniors Get in Free Day”, it just went downhill from there. As we walked in the gates of the Fair, some young whipper snapper handed both Randy and I a “get in free” ticket, without even asking if we were seniors! How dare he! How does he know that maybe I just wasn’t able to get in all my beauty rest, which would account for the bags under my eyes? Maybe, just maybe, I am prematurely gray and maybe, I might still be carrying some of the baby fat that accumulated while pregnant. Just because we walked in with a camera around our necks, wearing our matching Hawaiian shirts, does not mean that we should automatically be considered “seniors”. I could just not leave this alone. After walking around for 3 hours at the fair in 96 degree weather, both of us were totally worn out. But if we left now, our kids and friends would all think, “poor things, they are getting old, they just couldn’t hack the heat and all the walking, so they didn’t even stay long enough to justify the $15 parking” So I made Randy find us a seat in a shady area and told him that we were going to sit there for a couple of hours and not give our kids the satisfaction that they were right when they all told us that we needed to wait for it to cool down and then possibly think about renting one of those little scooters. They would never know that we sat the entire last 2 hours we were there. Besides, we hadn’t had a chance to people watch lately, and my, what our eyes beheld. More body piercings, tattoos and fat ladies wearing patterned leggings that one should have to see in a 5 hour period. But we did acknowledge on the way home that maybe, we have finally grown up a little and find other things a little more fun now, rather than walking around the State Fair, eating food that raises our cholesterol count to a number that is higher than our bank account savings; things like sitting in an air conditioned movie theatre eating popcorn. Or maybe sitting in our lazy boy recliners watching Blacklist. After all, our feet don’t hurt at all after those activities.
After returning home, I remembered that I had a doctor appointment this morning and it was in a building that is located right behind our house. This morning I told Randy that I will see if my feet still work after yesterdays excursion and will walk to the Doctor’s office. After he picked himself off the floor, he handed me the insurance cards and said, “go for it”. I did. Feeling pretty spiffy and good about myself walking instead of driving, I looked over to the building being constructed that I would have to walk by and thought to myself, “oh this is good, I know what happens when ladies walk by construction workers, and this will be so good for my ego.” So I put a spring in my step and get my cell phone out to help me look cool and start walking past when it happened.
Nothing! Not one whistle. So thinking that maybe they were just busy, I slowed down just to be sure they saw me, but nothing. Not one whistle. As I walk through the door of the dermatologist, I think to myself that he will have a positive word telling me that my skin looks pretty good for 65, causing my head to swell, just a bit. But the only thing the little 15 year old Dr said, was, “you know at your age, you really should be checked every year”
I hand the kindergartner receptionist my Medicare Care and walk out. OK, I bet the construction workers have had their coffee break by now and are really awake, so I walk by expecting some whistles. All I can say is they are the most dedicated brick layers I have ever seen. Not one head turned, I thought surely allowing my music on my cell phone would draw a little attention, but I guess guys aren’t into Barry Manilow. I would have settled for one of them whistling a song,
Note to self, stay away from State Fairs, Dermatologist and construction sites, they are not good for my self-confidence!
Think I will confine my activities to dark movie theatres, where it’s too dark to see the wrinkles and bags under the eyes and funerals, where if you are alive, you are looking good!
So
We have had good friends here from California since last Saturday. And yes, we are still good friends. The week didn’t discourage or damage the relationship one bit. It seems that as you get older, it gets a little harder to find couples that you can spend lots of time together with, without feeling like you can’t wait to get back to your routine, or just get back to being the two of you. But this week showed me something. It showed me that blessings sometimes come from the least place you would imagine.
I knew that we would have a great time because we have spent so much time with the friends who were here. They are friends who we have spent weekends with up in Big Bear, California at their home. For a real treat, go to the search engine in my blog and put in Labor Day in Big Bear and read quite a comical essay on our “relaxing” weekend. These are the same friends who almost killed us with “relaxation”, but even then, we came away with a friendship that showed us how truly special good friends bless our lives, if we survive some of the plans they come up with.
Because we hadn’t seen Bonnie and Arnie since October, we welcomed them with open arms and just couldn’t wait to show them Dallas and all the good food that Texas has to offer. Upon their arrival, we headed down to Lover’s Lane to eat at Celebration Restaurant, home of comfort food. We were so excited to be able to catch up that first night over meatloaf, chicken fried steak and baskets of cornbread, it would just be the perfect beginning.
We were seated at the last table available next to a party of about 12 people who got louder with each glass of wine. We couldn’t even begin to hear ourselves talk or think. We just gave up and ate in silence. The food was great but we left with headaches. As we stepped out of the restaurant, we all just stood there and went, “ah…listen, quiet”. It was then and there that I realized that we are now true seniors. As Triple A will tell you, when you are couples riding in a car with the women in the back and the hubbies in the front, you know you are seniors. At the end of the week, we wanted to show them downtown Dallas and thought it would be great to enjoy the first sunshine we had seen all week, so we headed down to the Nasher Scluptur Museum. We didn’t get there till 4, so not only did we get the senior discount, but we go in for , “buy one, get one free”, since we got there an hour before closing. Randy is a happy camper now.
But…Randy and I figured that one of the best ways to show off Dallas was to take them into Highland Park and let them see how the other half lives. So we headed down to show them where Jerry Jones lives and the first shopping outdoor mall in Dallas, Highland Park Village. We are acting cool and sophisticated as we tell them that we will go into Starbucks and sit with a cup of coffee watching the Bentley’s and Rolls Royce’s drive up. This is where it gets good. We go into Starbucks and Randy and I tell them it’s out treat. (are we big spenders or what?) So we walk up to the counter and I order a tall Pikes Peak coffee for Randy. The cute little 15 year old, ask me again what I wanted. I repeat the order; a tall Pikes Peak coffee. Randy inches his way beside me and tells the little cutie, “she means a tall Pikes Roast Coffee”. They start laughing and the customer next to us, starts laughing and says, “that was so funny, you just automatically said, Pikes Peak”. I huffed around, wishing that I could grab up her Louis Viton purse and hit her over the head with it. But, I figured that I would just get away from the counter as quickly as possible and go sit with my other old friends. Knowing that we have been to museums all afternoon and my hands could use some cleaning, I see a huge bottle of hand sanitizer sitting right there on the counter by the cash register. So I did a double pump wiping my hands all the way to my elbows back to the table, when I notice people looking at me. Boy, I guess maybe they are looking at my new hair do and how cute I must look. I sit down next to Bonnie and tell her to take some of the sanitizer off my hands, I guess I did get just a little too much. So we are sitting there wiping our hands together when Bonnie says,” my goodness this sanitizer is just getting stickier and stickier.” We both keep wiping our hands together and I think, maybe it is one of those that has to dry but after about 5 minutes. I can’t stand it any longer, we both get up to go wash our hands when I hear Randy coming back with all our coffees, saying, “everyone behind the counter is wondering why you pumped coffee syrup onto your hands?” OMGosh, why don’t I pay closer attention to labels? As Bonnie and I are walking through Starbucks to try and wash this sticky mess off our hands, people are staring at us and laughing. Apparently they all noticed that I had gone over and used coffee syrup as hand sanitizer. How do I regain “coolness” when I have coffee syrup on my phone and on my drink, I had even wiped my hands on my pants hoping to get rid of some of the excess sanitizer; now my pants were sticky and everything I had touched was so sticky that I had to bring back an arm load of wet towels to wipe everything off. We decided we had best get back to the side of town that allows senior moments to occur without laughing you out of the establishment. So we take our coffees and drink them in the car. We laughed for 30 minutes, remembering now how precious some of our most embarrassing moments can bring laughter and memories that will bind friends together for a long time.
We won’t ever go into a Starbucks again without remembering our afternoon in Highland Park. Some friends might have the memory of shopping St John together, but we came away with a great memory that cost less that $10. It doesn’t take lots of money to make a funny memory. Sometimes, it just takes a good sense of humor and a giant bottle of coffee syrup.
Senior Sightseeing…one of God’s little blessings!
Today after going to the mall with my 36 year old daughter, I have decided that I am going to run for office. I’m not sure yet, what I will run for, but which ever political official that can order mall employees around. We had just entered the mall, rented a stroller, for the two year old, not me,when we were approached by a man in his probably 20’s, pass right in front of me to hand Jodi a free sample of hand lotion. I stuck my hand out to get a free sample, but apparently, he must have just been caught up in the moment of giving his sales pitch and didn’t see that my hand was reaching out for some of the magical lotion that, according to him, can cure everything from cancer to Alzimers. (sorry, don’t know how to spell that, maybe I did, but I have forgot how).
I really didn’t think too much of him ignoring me until we got to the next little teenybopper. Again, free samples. Again, passed over me to give to my daughter. What is going on? I ask her if she noticed that they were completely ignoring me to try to make their sell to someone other than me, who might, just might, be wearing my, “I love my grandkids more than chocolate” t-shirt. She did say that maybe, just maybe, the salespeople were instructed to go for the young moms because sometimes the “more weathered” ladies were a bit grouchy when people tried to stop them to make a sale. I immediately stuck my nose in the air and marched over to the McDonalds food stand to get my $1.00 apple pie. Who do those youngsters think they are? Do they think that I’m to cheap to shell out money for hand cream or a hair extention?
If I were President, I would immediately hire people that were over 75 to work in the malls. That way, I would be considered the “youngster” and would be given free samples of hand cream and be ask if I would like to see what I looked like with a hair extention. Heck, I would like to see what I look like with just a full head of hair that didn’t frame my face with “blonde” (I like to call it blonde, calling it gray makes me sound old).
If I were president, I would carpet all the malls so my knee wouldn’t hurt when I had walked it’s length, trying to look cute and young in my 2″ heeled sandals. I would play Barry Manilow over the loud speakers in the stores so the sales people could hear me yelling at them from the dressing room when trying to get the too small blouse stuck over my head. I think they just keep resizing the clothes. I really don’t think that I have changed 3 sizes in 1 year.
If I were President, I would rent tennis shoes so that after the first 3 hours otf shopping I could bag my cutesy shoes and go rent a pair for comfort. Maybe a sweater rental kiosk would come in handy also. I would hand out free Heartburn pills for after those times when, trying to look cool in front of your kids and grandkids, we loaded up a bit too much on Auntie Anne’s or Cinnabon after scarfing down a Great American cookie.
All this to say that if you vote for me, I will promise to make our malls in American a more Senior Friendly place.
A place where we would be given our fair share of free samples and youngsters under 30 had to work in the stockrooms. Just a thought.
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