This morning as I was getting all dolled up for the day, (which incidentally takes a little longer each year) several things dawned on me. For years, I use to criticize all the “old” ladies who painted their eyebrows on. Why, for Pete’s sake did they do that? Why not just enhance the brows they had? This morning, as I was examining myself in the 7x magnifying mirror to see if any new wrinkles had landed on my face during the night, I seemed to have found the answer to my question. There, staring back at me was my eyebrow, with oodles of gray little hairs sticking out from above my head. So as I “enhanced” my brown with my auburn eyebrow pencil, the gray hairs that truly must have been 2″ long were so noticeable sticking out of the “enhanced” auburn brows. I sat there and just stared at my face. Not only were there new wrinkles that I know were not there yesterday, but now I had gray eyelashes and gray eyebrows. In the past, the gray eyelashes were easy to disguise. Brown mascara always did the trick and wa-la, I would look in the mirror and think to myself, “no one will ever know I’m past 60 now. But what was I going to do with these awful gray eyebrows. If I pulled them out, there would be so few eyebrows left, guess who would now look like one of the old ladies with just painted eyebrows? That was not going to happen. So I just painted a thicker layer of the eyebrows pencil, hoping that whatever was in the pencil would help hold the gray ones down.
How can I call myself a snazzy senior when I now have this to worry about? No amount of cute little capris or blingie sandals would help. Maybe if I apply a heavier line to the eyeliner it will draw peoples attention away from my brows. Nope, tried that just now and I look like a cat burglar. Or Lady GaGa wanna be.
Feeling a little down about this season of unsnazzines (is that a word), I sprayed on a little more perfume than normal, put on the biggest hoops earrings I owned and walked out with the Lady GaGa eyeliner with my capris and diamond studding (not real of course) flip flops. Randy looked at me and ask me if we were going to a costume party? or was I taking up a new profession? He then informed me that if it were the latter, I might make more money if I charged by the pound. Apparently he doesn’t remember that he will be in the car with me for 20 hours in a few days. I told him that those 20 hours are going to be the longest 20 hours he has had in quite a while.
So today I’m off to shop. Shopping and chocolate…always a pick me up for us
“no so snazzy seniors” Will be shopping for larger sunglasses to cover up the new wrinkles and the gray brows. Think I will eat dried apricots, boiled eggs, pinto beans and a cabbage salad the night before our car trip. That will make Mr. No More Mike Ditka Look Alike sorry he spoke to me like that. Ah….the joys of growing old!