Around The Bend
Around The Bend
Today Frosty suggested that we go out shopping like we use to while we lived in Dallas. To just go out all day to get among the Christmas crowds and hit the local Starbucks for a gingerbread latte and see what Santa has out this year on display. It was then that I suggested that we go looking for a new suitcase for us to take to Mexico and Italy. So off we go to look for the perfect traveling companion which would hold all our clothes that hopefully make us look like we “belong” and not like a tourist.
Getting out in this most beautiful day made me hungry. When he ask me if I was ready for the Starbucks stop, I informed him that maybe we should start off with something a little more filling, so off to Chick Fila we go, all the while me listening to him talk under his breath about “we have just left the house where there was plenty to eat but now she wants to go to Chick Fila” Maybe Frosty isn’t quite in his Christmas spirit yet. When I ask him to repeat what he had just said, he told me that he was glad we were having lunch out because then we could save the food at home for dinner. When I told him that was not what it sounded like when he was muttering, but I let this one go. After all, I didn’t want to start off our fun Christmas shopping day not speaking. So after we downed some chicken nuggets and a peppermint chocolate chip shake, we headed off to look at luggage. We stopped at a store that has a little bit of everything, (no it wasn’t Walmart) ok, it was almost Walmart, it was Ross. So after looking over the luggage and deciding that we needed to go other places before deciding, I informed Frosty that after much discussion with several friends who have traveled extensively, I wanted to go look at the backpacks. Thinking that would be a great way to carry all my necessities, leaving my arms free to hold the gelato or pizza in Italy or hail cabs in Mexico, my mind was made up to buy a backpack. I found the perfect size, beautiful, quilted olive green backpack which had some outside pockets. Asking him to hold my purse so I could try it on for size, I proudly, turn around showing him what I look like with a back pack. No I didn’t ask him if it made my rear end look big, but I did ask him what he thought. This was his reply, “well, if you really must know, you look like a Ninja Turtle”
The backpack went back on the shelf and we left the store in not so much of a holly jolly mood.
We had already decided that today we would visit the Apple Store to look at the Smart Watches. I had told our kids that instead of buying me those cute little signs that sometimes read, “what happens at Nana’s stays at Nanas or a shirt that might read, TGIF This Granny is Fantastic, I would rather them just donate to my Smart Watch Fund. So in anticipation to being gifted with one, we decided to just go look at the watches. We walked out with the cutest little Smart watch EVER. It is now synced with my phone and everything is out there in the cloud. So any money that comes in now from the kids can just go to cover a cute new color band for the watch or a new phone cover that matches the cute little watch. The first 3 hours it was the smartest watch I could imagine. But after coming home and sitting down to watch a Christmas Hallmark movie, I glance over to look at my new watch and there is an alert that is telling me to “get up and move around, you have been sitting too long.” WHAT? I now have a watch that makes me feel guilty for sitting and watching a movie? What have I done? After a little longer I get another alert telling me to breathe deeply for a minute as it is good for my brain. Are you kidding me? It knows what shape my brain is in?
If I cannot train this so called “Smart watch” a little better than it is now, it is going back to Apple. If I designed a smart watch it would go something like this:
You Go Girl….it has been over an hour since you ate a cookie, why don’t you have another one.
Ding Dong, Ding Dong, it’s time for your favorite Christmas movie, grab yourself a cup of hot cocoa and sit down and relax.
Oh Bless Your Heart, you have worked hard enough today, drive up to Donut Worry and buy that apple strudel donut you love.
Dolly Parton singing Working 9 to 5 and “just warm up the leftovers, you don’t need to cook a meal tonight.
Now that’s truly a Smart Watch that I would make. But until then, I guess I had better close and start walking around before it alerts me that I have been on this computer long enough or reminds me that I have only burned 23 calories today. And to think I paid money for all this guilt. Merry Christmas to me!
Well, after me saying I would never join an old ladies water aerobics swim class, I am now searching for a new swim suit. Over the last few months of driving by the pool in our community on the way to the donut shop in the mornings and me making fun of those sweet old ladies swishing their arms in the water as their hips swung side to side, I could not think of any excuse not to go with a friend of mine to the class. The only excuse I could think of was, “I don’t ever go anywhere without earrings or makeup” when Randy spoke up to remind me that it was just last Friday that I rode with him to the donut shop with no makeup and no earrings. He was quickly rebuked with, “yes, but I didn’t get out of the car, I let you go in for my donuts”. It was then that he also reminded me that some of the ladies he has seen in the pool were younger than me. Things began to get a little tense at this point so I gave in and went with Judy to swim class. It was better than sitting at home and listening to Mr. Smart Mouth.
Well, it has been 8 hours since surviving the first class and I can barely move. Lucky for me, my fingers don’t ache so I can search on-line for a new bathing suit. The positive outcome of this exercise stuff has given me new opportunities for getting new clothes. A few months ago, because I decided to try, after 15 years, to take another stab at golf, Randy finally gave in and took me shopping for some cute little golf outfits. It took me awhile to talk him into the idea of, “if I’m still not good at golf, I have to at least look cute while chasing the ball out of the rough” and another great line: “you wouldn’t want my rear to look big when I bend over to retrieve the ball would you?” That one worked. He agreed to take me shopping for some cute little golf shorts that have enough spandex in them to keep me standing tall and letting my golf partner be the ball retriever. So after this morning, I came home and told him that since I haven’t exercised in a little over 25-30 years, I needed to look like the other ladies in the class and have a cute little bathing suit, with matching hat and cover-up and a new beach towel. It was embarrassing using the hand me down Barbie beach towel that Jodi left here. Apparently she didn’t appreciate that Mother’s day gift from 5 years ago. When I get up 1 hour early this morning to prepare for the swim class, it was hard to decide which suit to wear; One that is 2 sizes smaller than I am now (I almost had to wear that one, as it took several attempts to get it off after seeing the fat that hung out of the top (when did all that back fat come from?) or one that has a skirt, which seems to hide more of me than I care to expose to the general public. The one with the skirt won. After 30 minutes in the pool, I discovered that those “cute little skirts” always float up to the surface and…well, ended up making me look like a fat floating little ballerina. Even a cute hat and earrings wouldn’t help that look. So here I am, headed out to the local store, Ok, I admit, I’m going to Walmart to look for a bathing suit to wear to class in the morning. That was the only place I felt might have larger women than me, trying to find the “perfect” suit.
This has given me a new lease on life. The exercise wasn’t what was fun, but all the socializing going on in the water. We laughed and talked about all the lazy ladies who were probably still in bed while we were out there, swishing our arms and hips to the movement of the water.
Tomorrow, my reward after class is going to the donut shop. I gave up wearing earrings in pubic for an hour, but I’m not giving up my donut run. I’ll just do some extra swishing at class on Thursday.
We have just returned from a trip to Texas where we have kids and friends who we are blessed to have. BUT….going to Texas means one thing: weight gain. In the 10 days we were there we ate Mexican food 8 times. Because it was cold and rainy every day we were there, everyone knows that our mouths begin to drool, thinking of all the Tex-Mex food we can’t get here, the minute we cross the Texas State line. The day we drive in, we make a mental list of every restaurant we just “have to” eat at. I begin to make list of every store that I miss here in Arizona, to buy things we don’t see here, Of course that means that besides all the clothes we take for 2 weeks, the presents that we take to leave to thank all the host for housing us, our snack bag (actually it is more like a snack suitcase) gifts for the grandkids, we pack so that we have room to bring back all the things we cannot buy here. So to say our car is loaded is truly an understatement. On our last day in Texas, before leaving early last Wednesday, we just “had” to go by Weirs Country Store to get boxes (yes boxes) of their popcorn and a small bottled real Dr Pepper. Randy says there is just something about those little bottled Dr Peppers. Probably because they are cheap, but don’t tell him I said that. We run by MiCocinas to buy chips and salsa for the road trip back. We have to have one last Whataburger (yes, I actually ate one for breakfast before leaving Dallas). They do have a couple of those here but they just aren’t the same. We have to always stop at Eatsi’s for their tiramisu and Italian Cream Cake. El Fenix for cheese enchiladas, Spring Creek and Rudy’s for barbecue. Nordstrom for white chocolate bread pudding with raspberry sauce. And we wonder why our car looks like a low rider!
This trip was a little more disorganized. We split our time between 3 different groups of family. If you are ever at someones house and you would like for them not to ever invite you back for a visit, there is a easy solution. We will probably never be invited to one of our kids homes anytime soon. All you have to do is start a fire in the kitchen. Yep, simple as that. Being the wonderful mother in law that I am, I told the kids that they could take the morning off and I would make breakfast. Cameron had told me they had never had homemade popovers and so I made them. As they were in the oven, I fried bacon. When I looked over at the package and decided that there wasn’t enough bacon to store, I decided to just fry up the entire package. The bacon that was already cooked was on a paper towel/plate of which I laid over on the gas stove to finish laying the rest of the bacon. Well, next thing I know fire is all over the paper towel and getting higher and higher. At first I try blowing out the fire. For petes sake, I am use to blowing out 60 some odd candles on my birthday cake; how hard can this be? Didn’t work! I scream. Cameron comes over and tries to throw the plate in the sink and the flames just kept getting higher and higher. Payton (the 3 yr old) starts to cry and finally Cam finally gets the plate in the sink and runs water over it. Charcoaled bacon isn’t all that bad. They loved the popovers and crispy bacon. The kids reminded us that they had invited us to come help them unpack boxes, not burn the new house down. I informed them that if they would have let the fire go a little longer, it would have taken care of some of the unpacked kitchen boxes. They didn’t appreciate my humor.
So back to the trip. Every time we had to pack up and leave one house to go to another, it was pouring rain and cold. We didn’t take the usual time to load the car. We began to open the back doors and just throw suitcases and clothes in. Each time, it just got junkier and unorganized, Randy looked at me and said, “I bet if people look in our windows they will think we live in our car and are hoarders.” By the 3rd house where we stayed for the last 3 nights, it was a lost cause. I couldn’t find anything. It was easier to go to Walmart to buy a pair of pants and shirt than try to find them. When we got home, we agreed that it was going to be scary to see what was under all the piles of clothes, suitcases and bags of things we had brought back. Randy brought in 2 pair of my shoes that I was never able to find the entire trip. He found them in our first snack bag that never got thrown away when the handle tore. Randy had said, we would use it for a trash bag, but I thought I remembered we had turned it into a bag for all the things that wouldn’t fit in our suitcases by day 5.
We left on the morning that there were ice warnings. What an adventure. Going home by a different route meant seeing signs we had not seen before. There was a beauty salon called, “Texas Big Hair” Salon. Randy looked at me and ask, “is that where you go”? I threw a 3 day old donut at him that I found under the seat. We passed a most impressive motel named, “It Will Do”. Not in this lifetime will it do. Randy said that if the ice got any worse that it might have to do. Fortunately, the ice road scraper was in front of us so we mossied along at 35 mph for 200 miles.
We have pinkie pinkied we won’t go back to Texas in winter ever again. As Randy gets older (I haven’t begun aging yet, but Im sure soon I might) his tummy might not let him eat mexican food 8 days in a row, and we don’t want to waste our visits in winter when all we want is Mexican food. So think we will go in summer when, oh wait guacamole always tastes so good in summer along with chile con queso. Ok, maybe the season doesn’t matter, but until our car gets rid of the smell of popcorn, chips, salsa and Whataburger, I think we might just stay home for a while. Besides, until the kids forget about the fire, we aren’t sure we are welcome.
Happy New Years to each and every one who has taken time to explore and read chocolate castles this past year. As our lives go through different seasons, so does our passions, our desires, likes and dislikes. New adventures, new challenges and new goals beckon to us as we enter 2018.
This morning, one of our pastors talked to us about the new year. If we are to enter a new year of accomplishing things which we might have failed to accomplish this past year (or years), one thing we need to do is to just “let it go”. To surrender it to God, allowing Him to come along beside us and to ask Him for strength, power and depend upon Him to see us through whatever our task before us.
The scripture the pastor used today was from Matt 4:18 “One day as Jesus was walking along the shore beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, also called Peter and Andrew, fishing with a net for they were commercial fishermen. Jesus called out to them, “Come be my disciples and I will show you how to fish for people.” And they left their nets at once and went with Him.”
The two fishermen were called away from everything they knew and loved. They walked away from traditions of being fishermen which probably had been passed down from many generations. They left what was known to them to step into the unknown. Because they loved their occupation, Jesus didn’t ask them to give up the occupation, He just ask them to change what they fished for. People!
It gave me so much to think about. What have I been willing to give up to walk, by faith, into an unknown situation? They left their families and their comfort zones to go with Jesus.
As Randy and I prepare to go out for dinner tonight with new friends, I cannot help but think back about different New Years’ Eves and all the memories which have been popping up on my FaceBook page of years of different memories.
There have been NY Eves spent with friends we have known for years,in Texas, as we had dinner and then prayed in the New Year at midnight, years of spending NYE with other friends in Chicago or Florida, years when we had a lot of our kids back home and we played games and ate until we were about to bust. There were a few years that we awoke about 3 am to watch the floats begin to line up in front of our house in Pasadena for the Rose Parade. Last year we spent back in California ringing in the new year with new friends in California in prayer, after enjoying great food and games.
This year, we will be with new precious friends, here in Arizona. We have had to some years “leave our nets” to walk by faith into new surroundings and circumstances. Never, has our Lord ever left us. He has always walked with us, no matter how hard, leaving some of the “nets” were. He continues to bless us and provide for us, every step of the way. As the pastor talked about a painting, which showed a room which was dark, except for the steps which were lit by an open door where the light shone down upon them from the top of the stairs, may God’s love and light shine down upon each of you this coming year.
Do not be afraid to lay down your nets for God’s best for you.
He ended the message by telling us that,
1. We have to let go of where we thought we would end up and move forward into something new.
2. The fear of letting go keeps us from having the best of what God has for us.
Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish.”
May 2018 be a year when we finish stronger than we began! Happy New Years and God Bless you as you “let go of any net that keeps you from His best that He has for you.”
Some of you out there in Blogville who are wishing that Fall gets here quickly will SO love this prediction. I really think it is only days away. (I won’t say how many days because I don’t want to look foolish). But when you hear my reasons of why I KNOW it must be close you will totally understand why I do not need a weather person to tell me when it will arrive. First of all, my first sign that it will be here soon is my desire to grow my hair (no, not the hair on my legs, I’m actually so old that there’s not much of that left). For some reason, by this time each year, my love of short hair is disappearing. All I can think about is “wonder how long it will take my hair this time to get to one length?” Each year, it’s the same thing. Blaming it on the nights that is still too hot to go walking or exercising, I sit and look through old photos, which includes pictures of previous Falls and Winters when my hair seemed to be headed toward growing out from it’s summer short cut. So when that desire to let it grow comes over me, I can rest assured Fall is almost here.
Another sign that Fall is close, is my desire to rearrange furniture. Sitting there in the evenings I begin to look around the room, wondering where the Christmas TREES will go this year. Notice I said trees, not tree. If there were only one, I wouldn’t have too much trouble, but because I like to have one in each room to enjoy the lights of the season, I realize that we will be moving furniture around. When we sit at night and Randy sees my eyes looking around the room, he says, “oh no, you are thinking again. What and where are we moving?” He also has learned that when I start that, it will be impossible for me to go to sleep until I have moved what I have imagined the whole evening. So he gets up, goes to the cabinet and gets out the sliders. We are not talking about hamburger sliders, we are talking about the most wonderful invention, little cushioned plastic backed pieces which allow me to slide any furniture anyplace. IF you are strong enough to lift a piece of furniture so that the slider is scooted under it, you can move it. We have had these sliders since around 1996. When we first married, Randy traveled quite a bit. Most of the time I went with him, but if he was going to boring cities, I stayed home and rearranged furniture how I wanted it to be without him looking over my shoulder and throwing his two cents in of where he thought the couch should go. One of these evenings when he was out of town, he called me from the hotel. He said that he had the TV on and had seen something that he just knew I would love. As newlyweds, my mind began to wonder. TV…advertisements, close to Christmas; had he ordered me a new car? had he been watching the shopping network and had seen a beautiful diamond bracelet that would look perfect on my skinny little arm? (ok, maybe it wasn’t skinny, but it was definitely much smaller that it is now and there were not wings hanging from the underside)My imagine ran wild. He wouldn’t tell me what the surprise was. He sounded so excited that he had seen this and knew immediately that he wanted to buy them for me. So I would just have to wait. Well, in a few days, the wait was over. I came home to find a package on the front porch. Excitedly, I threw down my purse and began to tear the package open. There looking back at me were four sliders. Does he know how to win my heart or what?
Mr. Romantic! So to show him my appreciation, I moved every piece of furniture in the house before he got home. When he arrived back in Dallas and walked through the front door, his reply was, “I’m so glad I didn’t come home drunk, or I would have broke my leg falling over the newly placed furniture.” Call me crazy, but if I had a husband who drank too much, this system is certainly a lot cheaper than therapy. Just keep moving the furniture around. Keep em guessing. That’s my motto. OK, back to predicting Fall.
Last, but not least is my drink. All summer long, I was addicted to Ombre’s at Starbucks. Well, last Sunday, on the way home from church, I ordered my first Pumpkin Latte. There, that is the one true tale tale sign. When I no longer order cold drinks, but switch to Lattes, well, you might as well get that sweater out and start wearing your gold jewelry. Why is it silver jewelry just looks better in summer and gold looks like it belongs in Winter? You can trust me on this, it happens every year. So when you see me walking down the street (well, actually that would be a miracle in itself, as I don’t walk anywhere) with a Latte, wearing gold jewelry with long hair, you can turn the fireplace on, Fall is here. No need to watch the 6:00 weather!
It is so exciting to know that Jodi, our daughter, came by and worked on my blog so that ordering the book, Princess on the Porch, is now very easy. All you have to do is click on the name of my book (which is located on the side bar on the right of the home page) and it takes you straight to Amazon, where it is available on Kindle, as well as soft cover and hard cover.
The book is full of some of my favorite family stories which will bring smiles to your heart, as well as giving you some our of favorite family recipes.
It was such a blessing to include stories of our kids and humorous adventures of Randy and I. Randy has ask me to tell you to not believe everything you read about him in the book (but trust me, you can). Enjoy and thanks for reading Princess on the Porch! It is now so easy to order!
Thanks Jodi for coming to my rescue, knowing that my computer skills are pretty limited! Besides giving us 3 precious grandkids, you are one smart (and yes, very pretty) cookie!
We have returned from our quick trip to San Diego, where we met some of our kids from Texas and inlaws. Our son had invited us to come for a couple of days while they were there visiting our DIL parents, who keep their sailboat there in the marina in San Diego. Looking back, we are so grateful we didn’t stay any longer than 4 days. We might not have lived to tell about our adventures.
We were both excited to be able to go and spend time with our kids and Sevy, our grandson, who is quickly learning how to navigate the sailboat. But…let me begin at the beginning. We checked into our hotel and were offered assistance with our luggage, but Mr. “No, we can handle it just fine” (AKA, he doesn’t want to have to tip anyone else that day.) decides that we will just park at the back entrance and, after all, how hard can it be? We both have rolling cases, with hanging travel bag with too many clothes in it so it won’t close properly and then cases with toiletries. We park and proceed to unload our bags. So far so good. I have my hanging bag with clothes over one arm, my roller suitcase behind my right side, with my toiletry bag hanging over that and look over and Randy is trying to get his roller bag behind him so he can pull it across the parking lot, when I see him loosing his balance. I quickly drop all my things, trying to help balance him when he falls completely over me, knocking me to the ground. We looked like dominoes that someone pushed the first one and they just kept falling. We sat there, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn’t find anything to help him get leverage to get up, and he was on top of me, so I couldn’t get up to help him. I finally scooted my garmet bag over so he could kneel on that (poor thing, his knee was bleeding pretty bad) and thus would allow me to get up. Looking back, over that, I can only imagine what I looked like, with my rear in the air, trying to get up, then trying to pull him up. We couldn’t help but laugh thinking about what the man watching the security camera must be thinking. They probably watched us over and over with, “oh man, wait till you see these old geisers, not only does the guy fall, but he falls over and knocks her over! It’s hilarious”
We do like to provide entertainment and laughter wherever we go. We were so proud that we were able to still walk with our heads held high into the hotel, even though we had gravel in our hair, blood dripping down his leg and dirt marks all over my white shorts. Luckily we have no boating incidents to write about but then on Saturday, we woke up. We should have just stopped right there. But, I was thirsty for my Dr Pepper and Randy wanted a cup of Starbucks coffee. As he was stepping into the shower, I yelled at him that I was going to go downstairs and buy a Dr Pepper from the hotel gift shop and yes, I would bring him a cup of coffee. I grabbed my phone (thank the Lord, I did take that), the room key and my wallet. After paying $10 for a Dr Pepper and a pack of gum, I stopped at the Starbucks counter and bought my sweetie pie a cup of coffee. I jumped on the elevator and proceeded to our room. As I reached the room, I realized that I didn’t have a hand free to use the key card to open the door, and after knocking, realized that he must be taking a little longer than usual shower, since he didn’t answer.
The key didn’t work. I realized that, after trying to call him, he must still be in the shower, so I didn’t have a choice but to pick up the coffee off the floor, grab my Dr Pepper and ride back down from the 10th floor and ask the clerk to reactivate the key card. We have had that happen many times, that after about 3 days the key has to be activated. So back down I go and she hands me 2 more cards after having to show her my ID. I thanked the Lord that for some reason I had picked up my wallet, which I really don’t know why I did, because I was just charging everything to our room anyway, but I guess God knew I would need my ID. So back up to the 10th floor I go. When I get off the elevator, I am thinking to myself, that his coffee is probably cold by now, when I try the new key and IT doesn’t work. WHAT? OK, i put everything on the floor and try it again, still doesn’t work. I begin to bang on the door for Randy to open it and he doesn’t. I am now running out of patience. How long of a shower is he going to take today? I call him and he answers. In a not so nice voice, I ask him why he is not answering the door when I am banging on it. He said he didn’t hear me knock. You are kidding me. I bang on it, just to let him know how loud I have been banging on it just to prove my point. My cell phone rings and once again, I have to put his coffee on the ground, to have a hand to answer it. “Why are you calling me, when you should be answering the door?” He informs me that he did answer the door and no one is there. I had gotten off on the wrong floor. I hurriedly pick up my drinks, and run down the hall before the people in that room decide that the crazy lady at their door at 7:30 a.m is just not going to go away, open the door to see what I am wanting. When I got to the elevator, I looked and I had got off on the 6th floor. How did I do that, I know I punched “10”. When I walked into our room, I couldn’t help but just fall on the bed laughing. If indeed they have security cameras in the halls, the camera guy must have been cracking up.
On our trip home, I ask Randy if he thought we were just odd or did the Lord just always allow funny things like this to happen to us so I would have things to write about. He just looked at me and said, “well, all I know is that over the past 21 years, we have certainly had our share of funny stories that has brought lots of laughter for us and for others and for that, we should be thankful.” Easy for him to say, he wasn’t the one on the hotel hall security camera!
April Anniversaries, ah….makes the month go by so quickly when I spend the first 2 weeks of April trying to plan something special for Mr. Romance. The 3rd week we spend celebrating and the 4th week, is usually spent taking back all the gifts each other has bought for the other and promising that the next year we will just plan a trip instead of trying to buy gifts for each other. So here we are in the last few days of our special month. Leading up to the 18th was really a little different this year. Because last year, Randy was not able to travel or go anywhere due to a dislocated shoulder and broken bones in his arm (and no, I didn’t get so annoyed that I hit him) and told me that he would NOT go out to eat until he could cut up his own food, we celebrated at home for our special day. This year, he wanted to make up for the past year, so we began our day at Starbucks then went shopping until we dropped. We did come home for a few hours to rest our achy feet and then drove to Scottsdale to have dinner at Houstons, where we chowed down on some of our favorite dishes, ending the night sharing a piece of their famous Key Lime Pie AND….he ordered one to go so we could have it again the next night. It was a grand day. But…because the years sometimes bring out those little bitty things that we just didn’t happen to notice about the other in the first 15 years of marriage, we have discovered that we are still learning things about each other. For example, I have learned that my darling husband considers it thrilling to wait until he is driving 65 MPH down the freeway before trying to fasten his seat belt (remember he still doesn’t have full use of his left arm and has to drive with one arm). Today when I had to grab the steering wheel to bring us back over to our lane, I told him,
” Randy, this is just a thought and maybe I”m wrong, but just maybe, wouldn’t it be fun to fasten your seat belt BEFORE leaving the driveway?” His response to me was, “it wouldn’t be as challenging” I told him that his next challenge might be trying to keep the back of a one size fits all hospital gown that only fits people who weight less than 130, closed as he walks down the halls, if he continues to do that.
My next annoyance came the other day as we were headed out to run errands. When I ask him if he took Oliver out before we left he quickly responded with , “shoot, I forgot I have a bag of poop in my pocket”! What? oh my gosh, here we are headed to the grocery store and my husband, who now goes by the name Mr. Poop Pocket, has a zip lock bag of doggie poop in his pocket. His usual routine is that after walking Oliver, he throws the small bag of you know what in the garbage before coming in the house. But for some reason, that day he forgot. I informed him that if he ever did that and I ended up throwing his shorts with poop in the pocket in the wash, well…all I can say is that it would take him more than a day of taking me shopping and a dinner at Houstons to make up for that.
Since that day, I am getting better at checking his pockets before throwing them in the wash. I’m also learning to remind him to fasten his seatbelt before leaving our driveway. I would write to tell you about his annoyances with me, but he assures me that even after these 22 years, he couldn’t think of a thing. That’s my story and this is my blog and I will write whatever I want.
The morning began like most others with me sitting with a cup of Earl Gray hot tea and talking to one of our daughters as she drives to school. Most mornings, she uses me to take up her time driving. She had shared with me before, that she calls me to get the “guilt” of talking to her mom out of the way so that is one less thing she has to do as the day goes on. Actually she calls me since she knows that all she has to do is dial my number, set the phone down and she can drink her coffee, eat her bagel and get the “required” phone call out of the way without having to really say too much. So I guess you could say that I “talk” her to school. s (hum….I’m remembering that as I just typed that that Cameron use to tell me the same thing).
Isn’t it so sweet that she feels she can just be totally honest with her mom. Well, this morning was no different. Half way through the conversation, right after she tells me how great the pasta salad was that I had dropped off to her yesterday, she interrupts my “oh honey, I just knew you would love it and that’s why we brought it to you” with….the following:
“Mom, this reminds me of what I wanted to share with you. You know that I want a really close relationship with you, and I know that you show your love with food. BUT….I want a relationship with you that doesn’t make me fat!” What? what did she just say? She went on to tell me, “you know that I love to eat the food you bring over, but maybe we could change the kind of food you bring over. Instead of bringing a huge bowl of pasta salad that, yes, I ended up eating all of, maybe you could bring over a cucumber or cherry tomatoes or maybe a stalk of broccoli” (will be back to finish posting in a min, I have to go take out 4 Kentucky Butter cakes out of the over, oh maybe you know who would like one of these this evening…nope forgot, now she only wants the moldy cucumber that is half eaten in the fridge) OK, I’m back.
So the conversation continued. She began to tell me that she just doesn’t have any will power when I bring over the cakes or cookies, or left over roast and mashed potatoes. Most of you who know us well, know that Randy, aka Mr. MUST HAVE NEW FOOD EACH MEAL, doesn’t eat left overs, so our scraps, oops, I mean left overs, usually go to the kids house. who we nicknamed The Mikey Household, because they truly will eat anything (because they didn’t have to cook it) Anyhow, said daughter goes on to tell me that she knows I usually don’t keep a lot of fresh veggies or fruits in the house because the pounds of butter and cream cheese in the fridge just don’t leave a lot of room for those kinds of foods. It is at this point that she tells me that maybe I could just stop at a local produce market and buy a orange or stalk of celery if I feel like I just have to bring food over to get that warm loving feeling that I get when I take food to people.
Maybe she just doesn’t realize that when I sit and watch her eat the pound of chicken fried steak with left over mashed potatoes and gravy, its not the warm fuzzie feeling from just giving food to her. As I sit there and watch her eat all these great left overs, my mind wanders to “oh yeah, sweetie, just keep eating like that and you will be in stretch pants before your 45. and that loose skin under my arms that you kid me about, well, missy, keep eating like that and we can have contest in a couple of years to see which one of us can wave the longest with that loose skin.” So, I admit maybe just maybe I have had an ulterior motive in my sharing of food. What she doesn’t realize yet is that there is a method to my madness of sharing all the fattening food. “Oh honey, you gained a pound or 5 having the left over stroganoff I brought over the other, night and you need to borrow my stretch pants? Well of course, I’ll bring them right over, oh and I’ll stop and get us a chocolate frappachino in case you need a little something to cheer you up. ”
Now the conversation will be a little different I guess, “sure, I’ll stop and get you a bag of brussels sprouts and we can sit and have a giant glass of water” Man does that sound like fun; I can hardly wait for our next visit. In the meantime, I think I’ll go have a piece of the Kentucky Butter cake I just took out of the oven and smile just thinking about the fact that as long as I have a chubby little face, my wrinkles will stay filled out and won’t show near as quickly as Ms. Brussels Sprouts skinny little face. Oops did I just type that out loud?
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