Travel Guide for Blondes

Have arrived back home after being gone since last Monday. I knew you would be interested in hearing about a few life lessons that I learned on this trip. As I was flying back yesterday, I had 3 hours to contemplate “life” since the book I had bought was pretty boring, I thought I would just “think”. These are the things that were on my mind as we flew through the air at 36,000 feet. 

1. As the old saying goes, “You can take the lady out of Texas, but you cannot take Texas out of the lady. I thought about that each time I pulled through Whataburger, had my choice of sweet or very sweet tea, had to decide which Tex-Mex restaurant I would eat my breakfast tacos, then which one would I meet friends at for enchiladas for lunch, then end the day with faitas at yet another favorite restaurant. Shopping malls, which called out to me as I speed down the tollway, bakeries on every corner selling red velvet cupcakes and one of the best Texas traditions, Dairy Queen, which if you have never had their steak finger basket, you have truly never lived. After a day there, I realized that my old twang was coming back and my hair automatically just got “bigger”. That is good, because after all I am eating this week, maybe it will make me look a little more proportioned since my rear end seems like it is looking a little more like the Texas State Map.

2. Just because you are using a “cutesy” (that probably isn’t a real word, but I don’t know what else to use) designed suitcase, doesn’t mean that it is user friendly. Because mine had broken several trips back, I had run to Steinmart, (yes another wonderful Texas “thang” that they have every 10 miles away, no matter your location) to see what cutesy suitcase I could find. I knew the minute I laid eyes on it. It was sky blue with the outline of Paris painted all over it. It had cartoon painted Ladies walking by with jewelry, dressed in their finest. Now, there, my dear friends was MY suitcase. No one would ever confuse mine with anyone else’s. So rolling it out to the car, my newly found luggage was already attracting attention. I was just as proud as a peacock. Not only did it make a statement of letting other people know that I like to shop and wear pretty clothes, it was huge and would hold all the items I came to Texas to buy. After my 3rd trip back to Texas, which was last week, it is going to Goodwill. When it is loaded, it takes 3 people to pick it up to just to put it into the trunk. If you open it with the wrong side up, all your belongings fall out, because there is nothing to keep them in. It was the worst suitcase EVER. Randy told me yesterday when I told him I was throwing it away that he would be going with me from now on to help me pick out my suitcases. I think he got embarrassed when I had let him off at the front of the airport to roll my suitcases into the airport while I went to park the car. (he is having trouble walking due to a back problem,  so I thought I would be nice and not make him walk far). He refuses to let me buy another “cute” suitcase now, just because he thought people were judging him. He had worn his light pink Polo that day, so you can imagine him dressed in pink, rolling a Paris themed baby blue suitcase into the airport. He said he cannot  show his face again at LAX.

3. I learned that you cannot eat out 3 times a day and not expect to gain weight. I am nearing the point to where I will be getting my “never will I be that size again” clothes out of storage today.

4. Leave enough frozen TV dinners for the hubby to last him the entire time I am gone. That way, I don’t have to feel guilty when, at the end of each day when he would call to get a recap of my day there in Dallas. I wouldn’t have to hear, “oh, that’s nice dear, so glad you got to eat at another one of your favorite places, don’t worry about me, I ran out of TV dinners two nights ago, but I found some cheese and crackers and olives that filled me up.”

5. Don’t post pictures on FB if you are not going to be able to see everyone you would like to visit. They then know you were in town and didn’t even call them. 

6. I learned that you shouldn’t try to bring back canned sodas in your suitcase. Since I cannot find Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper here, I thought I would just bring some back. I also bought a suitcase full of cake mixes that I cannot find here. After calling the airport to see how much it would cost me if my suitcase weighed over 70 pounds, I was told that it would cost me $200.00. The night before leaving for home, I ended up going and buying another suitcase to hold all my “goodies”. I justified it by thinking this way: the cake mixes are so good and a little cheaper than they are here and I get in bad moods when I can’t have my favorite Dr Pepper flavor and I knew that Randy would want me to be in a good mood and be able to bake all my favorite flavors of cake mixes; thus, he won’t mind that I had to go buy yet another suitcase to bring back all my great treasures. Maybe I didn’t think this through quite enough. For a 3rd suitcase, they charge you $150.00, plus now I had just spent money buying the 3rd suitcase. I don’t think I will forget any time soon the look on Randy’s face when I walked out of baggage claim. It was worse than the look he gave me for having to roll my “cutesy” suitcase into the airport last Monday. 

So to sum up my Traveling Life Lessons, here goes!

Loose weight before going out of town, that way you can gain without having to buy new sizes.

Only carry big black suitcases. Only take a few items of clothing as you will end up buying all new stuff that you just “can’t live without”.

Leave Face Book alone until you get back home.

Arrange for friends to have your husband over for dinner so you won’t end up on anti-depressants over the guilt of being gone 7 nights and leaving him with frozen TV dinners.

If you buy to much while out of town, go to the grocery store, box up what you don’t have room for in your suitcase and mail it home from the post office. Much cheaper that way.

Will write more after I finish writing all my apology notes to people I didn’t get to see who knew I was in town because of all those Face Book pictures. 

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