As most of you know, my sweet husband has had to be in the hospital a couple of days last week and then today for some follow-up procedures. We are so grateful to family and friends who have sent us cards, emails, phone calls and prayed for us. Thank you for your love and caring of us. We truly realized how blessed and loved we are.
Knowing that we were in for another day of being in the hospital today, we both decided to go have a last great mexican food meal last night before being subjected to hospital food today, so off we go to Mijeras for enchiladas. Now, normally this would give us the little bit of sunshine that we needed to send us off to a dreaded situation, but last night, well, it was just too much and too loud. As we tried to order our meal, we had to repeat what we wanted three times to the waiter because the mariaches were walking around playing, are you ready for this? “It’s A Small World After All” the only way a mariache band can play, LOUD! It was just awful. We left as fast as we could, but not soon enough. Trying to go to sleep early knowing that we had to get up at 4:30 to head to the hospital, we both ended up sitting up in bed humming “It’s A Small World After all” and sleeping in our Disney T-shirts. We decided that we were going to be finding a new mexican restaurant. When I went to Ebay and ordered Micky Ears, Randy knew it was time to change restaurants. After our evening of eating Mexican food all the while humming you know what, we just could not let several issues go by without commenting on them. Last week when Randy was being prepped for surgery, they have us in “pre-op” and the questions that they ask are just unbelievable. Neither of us have been in the hospital in years (it’s been 35 yrs for me and about 20 for him), so we didn’t have a clue how things were done now. When we looked over at the table at the “folder” that they had for Randy (this was only going to be an overnight stay), it was about 3″ thick. We kept wondering what in the world was in that booklet and my goodness, how thick would it be if he was going to be in for a week or so? But while we were waiting for the nurse to come to us, we could not help but hear the patient in the next bed, with only a curtain between us, answer his questions. We learned in a few short minutes, if he smoked, how much he drank, the drugs (both illegal and legal he took, what type of surgery he would be having, and the clincher, when was his last bowl movement. Now I don’t know about you, but there are a few things that should just remain a little private and that is one of them. We kept looking at each other as they proceeded to ask more and more questions and we began to giggle, thinking of how we use to laugh when our parents, as they aged, would feel that they had to tell you if they had a good BM. The nurse ended up sticking her head around the corner and telling us we were having too much fun. We knew that was her way of telling us to quiet down a little or we would be next to be playing 50 questions. Next, because the other patient next to us was having open heart surgery, we listened as they shaved his body. Randy begins to laugh because the amount of time it was taking them to shave him told us that he must have had enough hair to make a rug…but needless to say, we were just glad that our nurse had told us that Randy would only have to shave a part of his head where they would make the incision. Whew…….OK, now it’s our turn, here she comes, around the mountain…oops, I mean the curtain……now we are playing the question game and he was getting prepared to have to list how many showers he had last week, how many times he has been in the hospital when we remember, “didn’t we answer all these same questions when we came to register last week?” “why are we having to answer all the same questions all over again. What was the purpose of the Pre-registration?” By the way, the nurse lied….they shaved his whole head!
Then one of the numerous Dr’s comes to talk with us about signing a waiver in case he has to be given blood during the surgery. He explains that it is almost never necessary, but if he did, his chances of getting HIV or ADHD, or LTIC or PMAS, etc…was only 1 in a million….but wait, we heard a different dr tell the man next door “HIS” chances of contracting any or all of the above was only one in two million. We wanted the other guys odds…why couldn’t we get his odds….so we negotiated and settled for one in one and a half in a million. The medical mediator worked that out for us, no cost, we were told.
So now we are ready for them to whisk him off to surgery but he decides that maybe he needs to make one more little pit stop before they knock him out, so he climbs out of the roll away stretcher, which, by the way does roll away if the brakes are not on, but that is for another story…and we find out, with about 3 nurses looking on that those cute little “one size fits all” gowns are really not “one size fits all”….I start to laugh and since Randy knows what I am laughing at, he starts to laugh and we get so tickled that they decide that they are going to separate us, so I am sent to the waiting room.
Well, today, we are back in the same exact room, same bed and same nurse, same Dr, hopefully, different sheets, and look and lo and behold there is the infamous red binder, but now instead of 3″ it is about 6” and the questions begin all over again. I suggested that they look at the answers we gave last Fri, but Nancy Nurse didn’t like that suggestion so I see her pull a sheet out of the back of the binder that has even more questions. Guess I should have kept my mouth shut. Randy glares at me. But, they now know our most intimate details and could blackmail us in an instant. I get run out of the room again but not before we get Dr. Liu telling us Randy’s odds again are one in a million…..so I’m off to go find the medical mediator to get his odds up to at least 1.5 million…..as we get older and more surgeries, I think we’re going to need that extra 1/2 million…..