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Out of the Wilderness

As many of you know, we have had some adjustments to make these past two and a half years. Changes which involved moving twice to different states, a husband learning to deal with retirement and me having to learn how to share my home with a retired husband. Leaving part of our family and moving closer to other members of our family were also part of the adjustment. We left precious friends and a church which we loved so much in California. When we were settled back in Dallas, after being gone 3 1/2 years, we felt different.  As you have always heard, “you can’t go home again” took on a whole new meaning. The church which we had been a part of back in Dallas, had changed some also and we knew in our hearts that we needed to move on to a different place which, after a few months, God showed us. Because we would not be in Texas but a few more months (after moving back there), it was hard to feel like we were home, even though Texas had been our home for most of our lives. As time grew closer to making a change once again to a brand new state, we were excited about the new season, but found it a little hard to let go of what we had always known;Our security blanket of familiar territory, old friends and family which we had gone back to Texas for after living in California. Because Randy had always worked and never really had hobbies, he struggled with the available time that he now had. So, as you can tell, we were having some real adjustments to deal with. We both have looked at life through rose colored glasses to the extent of finding humor in places others might never see. It is great to have this humorous way of looking at life, especially when circumstances, which we would not have chosen, fell into our lives. But after a while, even those of us which always prided ourselves as looking at things as a “glass half full”, seem to go through those desert emotions.

Looking back over the last 2 1/2 years, I feel that I can truly say that my joy is back. Sometimes, God has to remove things from our lives in order to teach us where our focus should be. Things like friends, familiar surroundings, certain routines, even certain church activities, which gave me purpose and so much fulfillment. Sometimes, we allow people to become so special to us, that we tend to give them first place in our lives, activities which in themselves are great, become more important than God to us. Today, the sermon was about pride and how we use social media (instagram, Twitter, FB) to gain attention to ourselves from others. Immediately, I felt convicted. How many times had I posted pictures of our home, our kids ,our achievements? What were my motives for sharing? Where they really just to share a memory, or where they to gain the approval of others?

Through the years, I have always heard that  each time you move, you grow a little and change a little. When we came here, it was hard to adjust to the different types of church services. No choirs, a little more contemporary music, younger pastors, not the Women’s Ministry that I was use to. But sitting there today listening to this precious pastor share how God is desiring a pure heart, not a proud heart, I began to realize that there was a reason we were here. Neither Randy nor I, at this moment, know exactly what God has in store for us, or how He will use us, but I do know that I want my heart pure, with the motive to only gain praise from God. In church, the order of service might not be the same as it was in Dallas, or California, but God’s Word is the same, and is still being preached for the same reason; to show us that God is desiring us to grow in our faith, realizing that He is not only our Creator, but our Heavenly Father, who loves us and wants a personal relationship with each of us.

As I end this post tonight, it is my prayer that each of us know that no matter where He takes us, no matter the season of life we are in, we all have a life which God can use for His glory. Sometimes, He just has to take us through a wilderness to become aware of His love and His provision. To get our focus back on Him.

Thank you Lord for the wildernesses which you lead us through. The sun rises which we are blessed to see every morning reminds us that each new day holds new beginnings and new purposes, which Your Love will carry us through. Help me to love you more and to allow You to use me for Your glory!

Daily Thoughts · Uncategorized

Not That God

The other evening a sweet friend, Janet, gave me a book which was written by her son– in- law, Ryan Smith. The name of the book was Not That God. This morning I again woke up around 4 am and could not go back to sleep so found myself coming downstairs once again to drink hot tea and read. I began to read Not That God. It made me realize that my perception of God is quite often a result of how I as it should be. In my desire to love God and trust Him I seem to fall into the thinking that if I am good enough, pray more and spend time in His Word, I will have a blessed life. (talk about “earning” your salvation) I was raised to fear God with a Holy type of fear. Not to be afraid of Him but to have a Holy respect which would make me realize that He is the Holy One! That He should be honored above all else and to obey His Word in complete trust. As I have grown in years and hopefully in my faith, it seems that I am doing just what I read. That my expectations of who I think God should be is a little off. At times, I think we all feel that if we walk according to His will and simply obey what we know we are suppose to be doing, that it will “get us something”! We begin to treat God like a genie. We obey, He grants our wishes! But as I continued to read, I realized that God is much more interested in our character than our comforts. He allows things to fall on us in order that our love, dependency, and faith in Him will grow. Those valleys that He brings us through are allowed so that we will grow our faith and begin to see that these times of sorrow, sickness or stress can be times of opportunity for us to reach out more to our Heavenly Father. We have a way of keeping God in our own little box of what we feel He should be and expect Him to do. We make our decisions and then expect Him to bless them. We pray and give Him our desires and our requests and then expect Him to answer in the way that we feel is best. So when He doesn’t answer in the way we feel He should, we become angry and wonder ‘where God is”? Not That God is a book that challenges us to rethink what we have always felt about God.

In this Christmas season, it is a great time to begin a new approach to how I really feel about God and His great love for all of us! We always hear that “He is the reason for the season” but as we heard in church last week, “we are the reason for the season” Jesus came to earth as a baby to save us from our sin. God was the first gift giver. We have Christmas because He came as a baby that we might have life eternal. He gave His Son willingly for us. He did it out of a great love for us. After His giving of His most precious Son, how can we not love Him enough to trust Him for the circumstances, the trials or valleys, which He allows to come into our lives? This season, may my heart be open to accepting that “His ways are not my ways, nor His thoughts, my thoughts”. That I will always remember that God is love, but maybe I need to learn to redefine ‘love” in order to understand a little more of what God is trying to do in my life.

*Not That God, written by Ryan Smith