As many of you know, we have had some adjustments to make these past two and a half years. Changes which involved moving twice to different states, a husband learning to deal with retirement and me having to learn how to share my home with a retired husband. Leaving part of our family and moving closer to other members of our family were also part of the adjustment. We left precious friends and a church which we loved so much in California. When we were settled back in Dallas, after being gone 3 1/2 years, we felt different. As you have always heard, “you can’t go home again” took on a whole new meaning. The church which we had been a part of back in Dallas, had changed some also and we knew in our hearts that we needed to move on to a different place which, after a few months, God showed us. Because we would not be in Texas but a few more months (after moving back there), it was hard to feel like we were home, even though Texas had been our home for most of our lives. As time grew closer to making a change once again to a brand new state, we were excited about the new season, but found it a little hard to let go of what we had always known;Our security blanket of familiar territory, old friends and family which we had gone back to Texas for after living in California. Because Randy had always worked and never really had hobbies, he struggled with the available time that he now had. So, as you can tell, we were having some real adjustments to deal with. We both have looked at life through rose colored glasses to the extent of finding humor in places others might never see. It is great to have this humorous way of looking at life, especially when circumstances, which we would not have chosen, fell into our lives. But after a while, even those of us which always prided ourselves as looking at things as a “glass half full”, seem to go through those desert emotions.
Looking back over the last 2 1/2 years, I feel that I can truly say that my joy is back. Sometimes, God has to remove things from our lives in order to teach us where our focus should be. Things like friends, familiar surroundings, certain routines, even certain church activities, which gave me purpose and so much fulfillment. Sometimes, we allow people to become so special to us, that we tend to give them first place in our lives, activities which in themselves are great, become more important than God to us. Today, the sermon was about pride and how we use social media (instagram, Twitter, FB) to gain attention to ourselves from others. Immediately, I felt convicted. How many times had I posted pictures of our home, our kids ,our achievements? What were my motives for sharing? Where they really just to share a memory, or where they to gain the approval of others?
Through the years, I have always heard that each time you move, you grow a little and change a little. When we came here, it was hard to adjust to the different types of church services. No choirs, a little more contemporary music, younger pastors, not the Women’s Ministry that I was use to. But sitting there today listening to this precious pastor share how God is desiring a pure heart, not a proud heart, I began to realize that there was a reason we were here. Neither Randy nor I, at this moment, know exactly what God has in store for us, or how He will use us, but I do know that I want my heart pure, with the motive to only gain praise from God. In church, the order of service might not be the same as it was in Dallas, or California, but God’s Word is the same, and is still being preached for the same reason; to show us that God is desiring us to grow in our faith, realizing that He is not only our Creator, but our Heavenly Father, who loves us and wants a personal relationship with each of us.
As I end this post tonight, it is my prayer that each of us know that no matter where He takes us, no matter the season of life we are in, we all have a life which God can use for His glory. Sometimes, He just has to take us through a wilderness to become aware of His love and His provision. To get our focus back on Him.
Thank you Lord for the wildernesses which you lead us through. The sun rises which we are blessed to see every morning reminds us that each new day holds new beginnings and new purposes, which Your Love will carry us through. Help me to love you more and to allow You to use me for Your glory!
2 thoughts on “Out of the Wilderness”
So much of this mirrors my own emotions since coming back from our year of travel. Over time, I have found that getting settled starts from the inside of my own heart. Can’t say I’m “settled” yet, but I am working on it. Thanks for your wonderful insight, Trudy.
That was beautiful, Trudy, and I do hope and pray that you’ve found your “promised land”, because that’s where you’ll bloom !