This morning was really our first “normal” day of being by ourselves since moving here last Thursday. Because we are now staying in a casita until we can get in our new place, we ventured out to go get a few things at the neighborhood Walmart. We have discovered that there are quite a few (ok, maybe more like: DOES ANYHONE LIVE HERE THAT IS UNDER 80?) old folks. Fine, I got that off my chest. So we get out of the car in the parking lot and we begin to dodge the most aggressive blue hairs in their motored scooters. We made our way inside the store only to be greeted by the youngest Walmart Greeter we have ever seen. He could not have been more than 20 and was dancing a jig. When he saw us, he really broke out in a dance routine as we went up to him to tell him how fun it was to see someone enjoying their job. he finally spoke up to say welcome and we ask him if we were the only ones in the store without a scooter. He began to laugh and tell us that we probably were the only ones. I had been warned that the oldies, when behind the wheel of a scooter, became aggressive and deserving of being the first in line. That warning was not unfounded. It became apparent to both Randy and I that in order to not look like an outsider, we would be having to get us our own scooter. He informed me that if I would just buy a pair of gold tennis shoes and a jogging suit I would look like I belonged. We both decided that unless we are truly crippled, we would do everything possible not to ever ride around the store in a scooter. We just do not have the aggressive temperament to drive one.
This past couple of weeks,I have learned a few things about Randy that has me a little worried about this new season. As we were driving to Arizona from Texas we stopped in Midland for lunch. Because we had Whataburger for breakfast we found a barbeque place so we parked and went inside. We got in line to order and looked up and noticed on the sign that there was a $8.50 minimum for each person. Randy looked at me and said, “don’t you think that is a lot to spend for lunch, as that is just the meat and we would still have to buy our drinks and sides? Why don’t we just go across the parking lot to Whataburger and order a hamburger and get some barbeque sauce to put on it?” Seriously, really? But that’s exactly what we did. The very next day we stopped at McDonalds for tea and Mr. COM (crotchety old man, his new name since he retired.) decides he wants an ice cream cone. Our purchase comes to $1.71. Mr. CoM pulls out his pocket full of change and proceeds to count out $1.71. Now I know that this doesn’t sound like a big deal but when I reenacted the scene for our kids, they were rolling on the floor. Let’s just say that the high school kid behind the counter waiting for the money grew a beard while waiting for the money. After the first 5 Minutes of waiting for him to count out the money, I was so embarrassed that I walked away to escape the scathing stares from the folks in line behind him. I can tell you that his ice cream cone was half melted by the time the clerk handed it to him. I made him eat it in the car so we did’t have people looking at us like we were just more old people moving into the million “over 55 communities”here.
Note to self: to avoid looking like we are just another retiree couple, we will never ride a scooter, we will always just buy with bills, instead of change,and never wear black knee socks. Never wear a jogging suit and never dye my hair blue. Purple maybe but never blue!