Italian Inventions

We have now been in Italy for almost 6 weeks. And it has been glorious! Ok…Maybe a few days were just ok more than glorious because it rained more days than we anticipated. But because we have rainy days to fill with reading, playing cards and watching Netflix, we are so thankful that we dont feel that we have to go someplace everyday. It is in those rainy days that we do laundry and get caught up on emails and of course, the blog! Today is one of those days.

The other day i began to compile a list of so many things i love about Italy but also a list of the things i miss about The good ole USA!

There is of course, family and friends we miss alot! But two things i miss so so much is just “ice” and a garbage disposal! We had brought some ice trays from home with us to use because i remembered how hard they are to find here. But i forgot them in Florence! So we are back to hunting down an ice cube tray. Today it dawned on me that the inventor of the clothes dryer might very well have been an Italian lady. I put up the drying rack this morning out on the balcony to hang laundry to dry, and it dawned on me that now, Randy was not going to be the only one who knew what size my panties were! By 10 am, the entire apartment neighborhood that looks directly at us would know how truly big my Sears big girl panties were! As i tried to hang them between his shirts and tidy whites (hoping it would make mine look smaller) a lady from next door came out on her balcony. I smiled and said caio, and she smiled back as she watched me continue to hang up our “personals”. It was then and there that i decided to go find the Rome mall and run into Victorias Secrets and buy the laciest and smallest panties i could find to hang outside. I will start hanging my real size ones inside over the backs of breakfast chairs to dry from now on! I do not want people that dont even know my name to know more about the size of my undergarments than my husband! We had a dryer in Florence so all i used the clothes line for was our shirts, blouses and pants! I felt like Cinderella in those days out hanging clothes, singing loudly on the beautiful sunny days and never gave it a thought as to what i would do if I didnt have a dryer! Well, we now know! Trust me. If I was single in Italy and didnt have a dryer, you would never see my unmentionables hanging outside. Mr Right might be living right across the road and be able to see what he was in for and decide that maybe Matcho Dot. Como didnt get it right!

After my incident last weekend on the bus, I have decided to pack away my white capris until we are back in cars and not using the bus system. It was the first sunny day we had had in a few days so i decided to get out of my black and gray uniform. It was a day of sunshine and gelato and i was going to celebrate by wearing some new white capris i had bought in Orlando before heading to Italy. It was also a day that I was feeling chipper about loosing a few pounds from all the walking we had been doing! I opted for a new blouse that didnt cover up my entire rear end. After all, it had been a couple weeks since i had worn anything spring like and it felt good to wear a brightly covered top that matched how i felt that day. So off we go to catch the bus. We were excited to be trying a new bus route and knew that we would be seeing all new streets. We board the bus and i insert my ticket in the machine. I look back to see that the bus is almost full and know i will be standing until a seat becomes available when i hear Randy say,”TGirl” i turn around with my back to the rest of the bus and see that Randy has dropped his ticket on the floor before validating it. Well he has to hold on with one hand and had his cane in the other so i know that he needs me to get the ticket off the floor. As i bend over to retrieve it, the bus takes off and I loose my balance and end up with my rear in the air. And i have on my white capris that make me look even bigger. If I had been wearing my black ones maybe there might not have been so much snickering coming from the passengers! All i know is that for 30 min i had to stand up with everyone looking at me and probably thinking “whoa, maybe she needs to stay away from the pasta dishes”! Randy felt so badly that he said “lets get off and go into McDonalds and have a frappachino”. So off the bus we went in search of a coffee to take my mind off my embarrassing moment. When we walked in he went to order as I went off to find the ladies room. Walking in I found that the lady before me had not flushed the toilet so I decided to do that before I pottied. If you have traveled here to this country you know that the flush buttons are usually on the wall behind the toilets. As I pushed it, the entire cover fell into the toilet. Since there were others still waiting to use the bathroom i couldnt just leave it so i closed my eyes (why did i feel like that would not make it as germy) and pulled the cover out so it wouldn’t stop it up. I laid it on the floor and came out trying to explain to the line of Italian ladies waiting that it was now broken. But they didnt understand. So now i had ladies in McDonalds walking by me staring at me wondering why after i went in the bathroom, it had to be closed down!

This was all the humiliation i could handle for one day. I told randy i just wanted to go home (by taxi) and wash my hands in pure bleach water and bring in my undies from the balcony and pull the curtains and watch High Seas on Netflix!

Maybe after today an Italian lady might invent a lever to flush commodes that wont fall off the wall!

4 thoughts on “Italian Inventions

  1. Hysterical Trudy . I have a similar story about my trip to New York and a Farry Ride . It’s potty talk so I won’t share for fear you are eating . You make my day with your blogs .


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