Princess On The Porch? Or Golf Course

Well, this past Monday, I found myself with a dear friend, joining our community golf team. We are called the Hits & Giggles, and upon going and playing, I understand that this is the perfect team for me. Many more giggles than hits. It had been more than 15 years since I had picked up a golf club (I don’t count the times I picked one up to threaten a grandkid or Randy). But when Teresa called last week and said that she had been thinking that we had, at most, 20 years to fulfill some things before leaving this world, I began to think about that. How many years had I told myself that I wanted to get back to golf, but always had an excuse. Excuses like, “will bending over to pick up my golf ball make my butt look big?” or “What if I get on a team that doesn’t have to pick up their balls because they actually don’t need 8 times to get to the green” Or my favorite, “what if I am actually good and they want me to go on tour, how would I manage being gone all the time and leave poor Randy at home?” I decided to take a chance, leave my rocker on the porch and go for it.
So off Teresa and I go to buy some cute clothes for our first day. We both decided that because we would be so bad, that if we looked cute, maybe the others wouldn’t notice how bad we hit the ball, if we indeed did hit the ball.

We arrived at the golf course and was immediately put on separate teams! WHAT? We had counted on riding the cart together and at least knowing that we were playing together so as to have at least one other person who was as bad as each other. So off she goes to play with some friends we know. I was teamed with a lady who is 82 and has hit 2 holes in one and plays 3 times a week. Plus 2 men who play every week, for years. AND…guess who is on team 1 and is the first to hit? Yep, me. You are kidding me. I had just bought new clubs last week and had never even had them out of the box until Sunday night. And I am up first on the tee box. Well, they always say, “look confident like you know what you are doing and that is half the battle.” oh my gosh, how do I look confident when it has been 15 years. People do lie. It’s not like riding a bicycle. You do forget how to do it. It took me 5 minutes to get the stupid tee in the ground. So here we go. I bowed my head and prayed and promised God that I still had some good years left and I would gladly go to Africa to be a missionary if He would just not let me miss the swing at the ball and it would go farther than 10 feet. I leave next month for Africa. IT went about 30 ft.

About the 3rd hole, I went to get my driver out of the bag and it wasn’t there. Had I inadvertently put it in one of the other bags. So after accusing the other 3 members of not looking very good in their bags to find my driver, here comes a golf cart driving up to where we were with a man holding my driver saying, “did anyone leave this on the ground back there?” What had I done? Had I in a fit of rage thrown it down without realizing it? Had I dropped it? No, that is impossible, how do you drop a driver without knowing it? So I guess I laid it down on the ground to take the flag out of the hole. Senior moment, I never could remember why or how it was left on the ground.

All in all, I didn’t embarrass myself too much so that I am excited to go back next week. Have had little sensors put on my clubs so that if I leave one behind again, my phone will alert me. Went back to Costco for more golf shirts. I didn’t improve enough this past week not to have to look cute when playing.
Neither Teresa or I won any of the “closest to the pin or longest drive” but if there would have been a prize for dressing the part, maybe we would have at least been in the running. Thank goodness for cute golf clothes!

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