Shopping With Frosty

It’s here, that time of year when Randy and I change our names to Frosty and Noel. We change our phone voice mails to “hi you have reached Frosty (or Noel, depending on whose phone they call). It makes our kids call us so they can let their friends listen to how weird their parents are. But at this time in life, we are just glad thy call, for whatever reason. It just takes some ingenuity!

A few days ago, I told Frosty that we had to get the house decorated for Christmas since we would be gone for most of November and I wanted to be able to walk In the house after we returned the end of November and have everything done So off we go to get new lights for the trees and end up buying a few groceries while we were in Wall Mart. Now, I’m not saying that I could do any better than our little check out lady who could not have been a day under 80 but I just had to share this story.

We walk up to check out and there is a beautiful young mom almost finishing checking out in front of us. She has a few items left on the conveyer belt so I put the bar between her items and mine and begin to unload our basket. Frosty is so proud of himself for remembering to bring our reusable bags that he pushes me out of the way so he could be sure Granny Checkout would see that we have our own bags. I told him he was not as concerned about the bags as he was about getting to stand beside Ms Young Tennis Player with short tennis skirt on. Ms Tennis Player pays for her groceries and notices that Granny had put Frosty’s bologna on her bill and has placed it in her bag. So she backs up and shows Granny Checker that she needs to take the bologna off her ticket and put it on ours. After 5 minutes, we have this cleared up and Granny looks in Tennis player’s basket and ask “did I charge you for that water?” Tennis Player responds with, “well I have no idea if you did or not, so after looking at her receipt, she finds out that she had not paid for the water, so back she comes so Granny can scan the case of water. Granny proceeds to put “our” bologna in a bag and tries to hand her our bologna AGAIN! TP tells her, “that is not my bologna and I don’t want to pay for it.” I told her that with her figure, she would wear it much better than we would, but she just glared at me and said a few lovely Southern Belle words as she turns and struts out. All this time Frosty has been placing our reusable bags up over where the plastic bags hang and we tell Granny that we want our groceries in our bags. So what does she  do but begin to put our groceries in the Wall Mart plastic bags and then put those inside our bags. We had to tell that that is not how it works. So I began to bag our groceries in our bags which totally confused her.

We finally paid for our lights and bologna only to get home to hear that the WHO just declared meats like bologna as dangerous as cigarettes. After all we had gone through getting our bologna today, we weren’t about to take it back. We will just take our chances with our HMO meat and hopefully by the time we have to go back to Wall Mart, Granny Checker will have retired herself. At least Frosty feels really good about his possibilities of being hired should we just replace our bologna with cigarettes and need extra money to pay for them.

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