Silver Sneakers & Seniors

For the past few months, I have begun to feel guilty that some extra pounds have found their way onto my person. (love that term, makes it sound not so personal, like it is happening to someone else)

Some of our kids are real exercise junkies and are always making fun of me for keeping almost as much butter, cream cheese and whipping cream in stock as Costco. As I tried to zip up my blue jeans a few days ago, I decided that maybe I should check into an exercise class that would help me get some of the new ounces that had landed on my rear. As I researched my possibilities, some friends back in California told me that I should check into this Silver Sneakers class that is available in most gyms, and it is “FREE”. Well, hot dog, my kind of exercise. It is suppose to be low impact and if it’s free, I will be able to use my money on rewarding myself for going to exercise with a Baskin-Robbins chocolate shake. So I talked Randy into going with me to Kohls to buy a cute little exercise outfit. It is my theory that if I can’t do something well, if I look cute, maybe people won’t notice that I don’t have dance talent nor am I able to keep up with instructors that lead the class in fancy footwork. That is one reason I don’t go to gyms in the first place, well, that and I don’t like to sweat. So we find the perfect outfit in pink and black and it covers my behind. Perfect. Yesterday, I am so nervous that I feel like I’m goin on a first date. I have visions of walking into a room with 30 men and women all lined up, staring at the new person (me) walking in and making me get on the front row as punishment for being the new kid on the block. I even go on FB the night before, asking fiends about what I should do: do I wear makeup and if so, how much? Do I leave my earrings on? Do I forget the eyeliner that I never leave the house without? Do I carry a water bottle so I look like I’m at least trying to be healthy? Even though I cannot remember the year that I last had a glass of water. Oh, yes, I do remember, it was in 2006 when we went to Greece and they didn’t have Dr Pepper. Anyway, I arrive 15 minutes early. I walk into the room where SS is suppose to meet and the teacher is there. So far so good. I ask her if this is a large class and she tells me that sometimes there are 3 or 4, depending on who is in the hospital or not, or has dr appointments scheduled or sometimes just OOT. I quickly realize that “ok, I’m really shouldn’t be here just to socialize.  I might be the only one here and maybe baking cookies for my new friends that I was excited to meet in class wasn’t such a great idea. But that just leaves  more cookies to snack on when I sit at home after class as I talk about all the details of why I’m sore from all the new moves that I learned. So back to the class. The teacher and I begin by placing a chair on a mat so it doesn’t slip. I keep turning around to see if someone else might show up. After 15 min, another lady shows up and waddles over to the mat and chair that the teacher has placed out for her. So now there are two.

We continue sitting in the chair doing some stretching using some 1 lb weights and some straps which have handles on them. The hour passes pretty quickly and I leave, strutting out to my car, proudly calling Randy telling him that I was the best in the class, on my first day. I just didn’t tell him that there were 2 of us and that the other lady had just had 2 hip replacements and just that morning had fallen on her kitchen floor. None of the exercise required us to leave the chair. Why I can do this at home watching Dr Phil. e On the way home, i began to think about my morning and have come to a few conclusions regarding being healthy and the importance of exercise. I get more exercise going back and forth to the fridge than I did in class. The heavy 5 lb sacks of flour and sugar that I lift and empty in my canisters are more of a workout than I got with the 1 lb weights we used.

Stirring my fudge for 15 minutes on the stove uses more arm muscles that I used yesterday. My legs get more use and stretching when I am trying to get the huge canister of chocolate chips off the top shelf in the pantry.

I don’t get sweaty since I have a fan blowing directly on me when I’m using my mixer and I can wear my earrings makeup, eye liner and jewelry, while baking.

So I ask myself, why do I need Silver Sneakers when I have a kitchen that is loaded with exercise equipment that is there any time of the day that I care to use it. I have my phone right there beside me to FaceTime any fiend I might want to talk to without hearing all about hip replacements or rearranging dr’s appointments so they could come to class.

I did however decide to wear my new exercise outfit, while baking. Because it is so tight, it makes m feel like after going to one class, I am almost back at my goal weight. So there you have it. My exercise experience and why baking is the way to go.

PS……So glad I didn’t go buy silver sneakers thinking that that was part of the acceptable outfit. But will be sure to get a silver wig if I ever go back, just to fit in!

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