Being 62, I have read Psalm 23 more times than I can remember, but until this past week, I can honestly say that Psa 23:3 that says, “He restores my soul” had just been words that reminded me of another attribute of our Lord, but it truly had never meant so much to me as it did this past week.
This morning as I was getting ready for the day and thinking back over the last week, particularly, last Saturday, I sat there and thought to myself, “what a difference I felt today, as opposed to last Saturday”.
Last weekend I did something that I really could not believe I did. It was something that the world would not look on as really a “big sin” or would even not even look upon it as anything done wrong, but the minute I opened my mouth and let words out of my mouth that should never have escaped, I knew that what I had just said, even the thoughts that went along with it, had greatly saddened the Lords heart. It was hard to admit that it was plain and simple, sin, that had now caused me anger at myself and heavy conviction of what I had done. All weekend, I tried to push the feeling away. I thought maybe if I talk it out with Randy, that would make me feel better. Surely he would have words to make me feel better. When that didn’t work, I thought, well, I will confess it to God and knowing that He is always “faithful and just to forgive” I thought well, that will do it. I will be rid of the shame of the sin, but that didn’t work. I tried to stay busy, going back over it in my mind, time and time again, I was going to bed thinking about it and it was the first thing on my mind upon waking. Finally Sunday night, I knew what I had to do. First thing in the morning when the store opened at 10:00a.m. I had to call the lady and apologize for my actions. Words cannot tell you how hard it was to do that. Knowing I had to do it to make things right, I struggled all night, knowing this was before me. It was truly a time of regret, knowing that if I had just “walked in the Spirit” and displayed the fruits of the Spirit, I would not be having to do what I was having to do to have peace. It showed me how sin can truly separate you from the peace of God and we must be willing to suffer the consequences of our actions, when we are disobedient to the Lord.
With the focus on ourselves in todays world, we feel that we can be restored and renewed by going to a spa or going for a massage or doing something we feel would pacify the void in our lives because sin has truly separated us from the “peace that passeth all understanding” which we receive from the Lord.
Before calling the lady at the store, I ask the Lord to give me words and strength as I knew I could never do this without Him. He was faithful to me in making that phone call. It was amazing how I felt when I hung up. Each day since Monday has brought more and more peace and today, as I was sitting there, I began to realize that I truly felt “restored” in the Lord and knew that even though this was a hard lesson, it will always be a reminder to me that when I am tempted to do something that is against the “laws and commands” of the Lord, I will stop and think about how it feels to be separated from that wonderful relationship I have with God and the peace that fills my heart when I”walk in the Light as He is in the Light”
Today, ask the Lord if there is anything that is keeping you from being able to know that perfect peace. If there is, “go, leave the alter and go ask forgiveness from the one you have sinned against”. Your Soul will be Refreshed and Restored.